For most of my adolescent life I have been closer to guys than girls. As I grew up I always had a “best friend” but they were always static—each year or two, I always had a new best friend. I had hopes of starting over here at UCI, finding my place that I have long been looking for, the true friends that I will hang on to for a life time; to find my “Aunty Gayle.” But this has yet to happen. I’m almost positive that this is what I am longing for, but I don’t know how to fix it. I feel like its already too late, that I have already wasted my fresh start. Everyone is choosing their housing for next year already, and I don’t have that girl group to be my roomies. I have one friend, that I kind of know and take classes with, who goes home every weekend. Don’t get me wrong I love her, but it’s not exactly what I have in mind. I wanted to close sisterly feeling. Seeing the other girls with their group really makes me miss the really tight bonds that I had back home. I remember how insanely close we were and all the great memories we had. It really makes me miss them bad. I just wish that I could have that here. I wish I could have taken those moments with me and just continued them here. That’s what I’m seeking, that’s the happiness that I’m missing. I understand that it takes time for these things, but why is it that it seems to take me much longer. I guess I just need to be ok with me and my life always, and know eventually I’ll get to that point.